What was that?


Your vagina exploding!




Because of these guys!



Is that the new Batman and a Bond Villain?



It’s Master Panty-Droppers

Robert and Steven


What’s so great about them?



There goes your vagina again! From sheer anticipation!

First, these dudes are totally single!


Second, I need not talk about their orgasmic good looks, but I’ll tell you more about these homos


Don’t put that vagina back together so fast! They are not homosexuals, they are



(homos for short)


That’s right! These homos have real big boy jobs!


Robert works at the largest public university in the United States!


Steven works at Honeywell as a…

hike up that dress because this is going to destroy the flood gates to your lady levee…





Hot damn! Call FEMA honey. Because it gets better!

Not only are they successful at work and SEX-cessful in bed, they are also generous philanthropists!

Now before you philanthro-piss yourself, let me continue!



They both donate time and money to the arts with their impeccable taste and cavernous wallets!  They throw money at kickstarters for emerging theatres, webcomics, music, movies, and so much more! Most people just want to be banged by them until they stop making “Fast & Furious” sequels but they give money instead because their semen is too valuable.


Did I mention they are in a band?!



And they are so good that they won’t even let me in!


There is one catch to these amazing catches

You can only fuck one of them!

If you tried to do both, you’d die from exhaustion, dehydration, and ecstasy!

Who shall it be?




 Eagle Scout!




Been to Japan!

Loves his dog Smokey!








Educational Powerhouse!



Sci-Fi Connoisseur!

Been to Europe!

Loves Yorkies!

Pokemon Master!



Cast your vote in the comments below!




They help me not kill myself!

So do me a favor and blow them for me!

For America!

And for justice for all!


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