How can we be expected to get any work done when there is so much porn on the internet?

 

So.

Much.

Porn.

 

We can’t possibly see it all, but we sure as hell can try.

 

Oh, and by porn, I don’t mean exclusively pornography; I mean all kinds of guilty, time-wasting, passively-ingested brain-porn. Any of those things that we are addicted to that lower our levels of productivity when we should be working or creating. My porn of choice:

Reading

 

My reading-porn is not erotic fantasy involving a shirtless Fabio and a majestic, white horse (that is riding Fabio). My reading-porn comes in the form of “informative articles” that have no actual substance. Articles featured on websites like Cracked.com are especially dangerous because I think I am learning or doing something productive. But I’m not

 

I’m just consuming

 

And I’m not creating anything! So I might as well be jerking off on my head. Err… In my face… I mean in my mind! Even as I write this, I am clicking over to various sites to stroke it. Other sites I jerk off to are:

 

Facebook – It’s as close as I get to socializing

MemeBase/FailBlog – Helps me keep up with the youngin’s

MSN/NBC News – Helps me keep up with the oldin’s

GameFaqs/GameSpot – To protect my virginity

 

When I “take a break” that is longer than the time I just spent working, the whole day gets sucked off… Sucked away?… It just gets sucked, but not by me–I’m just forced to watch.

 

If I waste that much time READING, what will happen when they finally invent a way to put VIDEO and AUDIO on the internet!?

 

-Will

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