Today I’m going to blog about something that is very important to me. I believe it is a sign of the times and is one of the 4 horsemen of the social apocalypse.  It’s so close to the core of my being that even writing this now is tensing me up with overwhelming passion. Today, I am speaking of the importance of…

The Correct Orientation of Smiley Emoticons

Orientation A          VS           Orientation B

: -)                  (-:

 

The case for the orientation A is simple. English is read from left to right and top to bottom. So if we see a smiley face that looks like this : -) we can then tilt that in our heads and imagine the information in the order it has been given to us.

Left to right : -) translated into top to bottom

Eyes

Nose

 

Mouth
Err… fish? I don’t know. Don’t Google mouth. It’s freaky shit.

 

This supplies the information in a manner we can process easily and it also allows suspense as the needed information (the direction of the smile/frown) is last!

 

When I am given orientation B, I am thrown for a loop with the open parentheses (. I see one of those and start to think that the grammar is about to get a fancy level up! Or maybe a citation! Once I realize it is supposed to be a face, I have already stacked the image in my head and I end up with something like this:

Left to right (-:

Top to bottom

No one likes upside down face!

 

And even if you do rotate it in your mind the correct way, you’ve blown the suspense/punchline by putting the smile/frown first! Would you do that with a joke?

 

Let me in or I’ll rape you through the keyhole!

Knock Knock

 

Winner – Orientation A!

: -)

 

 

But Will! What about hearts? <3<3<3<3

 

A heart can only be made in that orientation, due to the nature of the symbols involved. We have the same problem of left to right and top to bottom imaging.

Left to right <3

Supposed to look like this:

Aww

 

But instead, our mind turns and stacks them from top to bottom and we get this:

Ballsack
…Aww

 

 

-Will

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